I guess he must have done that too? How embarrassing.
The sun was unrelenting this morning and it made me want to crawl under the covers and die. I am never, ever, EVER drinking again... though I don't really remember why I started drinking in the first place. I hope I didn't do anything too embarassing~! The last time I got drunk... well, I didn't exactly act myself, that's all.
After I managed to crawl over to close the curtains, I snuck a look at Genma sleeping the chair. Without his bandanna and senbon, he looked so much like the boy I knew growing up. Apathetic to a fault, I thought, though when it came to the people he cared about...
Sometimes I wonder if he remembers that time. It was nearly fifteen years ago, after all. We were just promoted to chuunin and we went for drinks to celebrate -- stupid children playing a grown up game. I proceeded to get drunk and tell him all about my plans to become a medic and follow Tsunade-sama, wherever she was.
"Never lose sight of your dreams, Shizune," was all he said.
What could I say to that? My alcohol clouded mind really couldn't process the words and so it forced me to do what I was probably in denial about wanting to do since I graduated from academy.
I kissed him.
I remember more about the kiss than I've let on -- it was my first kiss, after all. I remember the soft pressure of his lips on mine, the feeling of his arms around me. We never talked about it, never acknowledged it, but I never forgot the way he was out of breath when we parted, the redness of his cheeks.
It's been fifteen years but the memory is so clear that it could have happened yesterday.
I really hope I didn't do anything as stupid last night, as I really don't think I could stand to lose him as a friend. I've had enough loss for ten lifetimes. Though it is getting quite difficult to hide how I feel -- maybe I should put a bit of distance between us for awhile. AND NOTE TO SELF: STAY AWAY FROM ALCOHOL.
I really am an idiot, sometimes. -_-
If I didn't anything drunk that I shouldn't have done, PLEASE FORGIVE ME~! AND TSUNADE-SAMA, DID YOU EVER SHOW UP!? I HOPE YOU WEREN'T DRINKING SOMEWHERE ELSE ALL NIGHT AND FORGOT ABOUT THE DINNER~~! AHIIIII. EVERYONE WAS ASKING WHERE YOU WERE!
Please excuse me while I die from hangover, now. Thanks, bye.